i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
