If i come over, it means nothing
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
