I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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