MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
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