I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
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