im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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