You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Randomize
