Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Houston, we have a blender
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Randomize
