I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Randomize
