giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
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