I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
i used baking grease as lip gloss
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
I have tasted many bathrooms
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
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