So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
