i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
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