Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
