Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Randomize
