Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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