The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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