I wannas sexs uuuuu
Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Randomize
