i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
