so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Randomize
