glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Let's get the cat blown out
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
