bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
I love you.
Bad choice
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