I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
