Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
