she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
