We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
It's blow job season.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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