So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
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