Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
