I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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