A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Randomize
