Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
