love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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