Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
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