We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
