I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
