Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
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