i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
