In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
