good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
vagina is talking i cant
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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