I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
