i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
Randomize
