It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
