Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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