Where are you?
In a non slutty way
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Life is so much better after having sex.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Randomize
