i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Randomize
