you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Randomize
