There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
