You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
