She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Randomize
