I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
