Pants 0. Shit 1.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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