we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
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