The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Randomize
